“It is a joy to be hidden, and a disaster not to be found.”– D.W. Winnicott
I hear a lot about dating stress and anxiety. It seems in today’s day and age, dating is harder than it was a decade ago. With the Covid-19 Pandemic, even more isolation has turned people more and more to the apps, which can sometimes feel impersonal and as if dating has become institutionalized (better get the premium package if you want to have a chance at being seen). What does it do to us to browse through people, endlessly swiping? And if you find someone you like, will you hear back? If you connect, will you be ghosted/harassed/scammed? Dating has never made people feel more sensitive to fears of rejection and inadequacy.
Or perhaps it’s the opposite, you are having lots of success and struggling to take control of your dating experince and be intentional. You want connection deep down, but you keep pursuing the wrong people or staying distant. Maybe you’re going from hookup to hookup, but you’re starting to wonder if you are running from something? There is a numbness and distance, maybe your heart is closed off on a deeper level.
Whether dating and the search for validation of your need for beauty/value/worth is something that is running your life, or something you can’t quite seem to find, the topic of dating is often loaded and triggering. I often hear that people hate dating, and some people stay in relationships that don’t work for them out of an avoidance of re-entering the dating pool. The apps aren’t good or bad, they are simply tools that have the potential to either be an asset or liability in our lives.
Therapy can help by giving you a place to come to and explore areas of dating anxiety & stress. Work here can help you to come to a better conscious understanding of your needs and lead you toward navigating from a more centered, whole and intentional place. I’m here if you want to explore this.